I've come to a realisation (well, it came to me ages ago but I'm busy and haven't got round to it) ...when I first discovered the internet at University I kept a diary, pretty much every day and
the idea of keeping a blog where anyone could read it seriously freaked me out. I mean, Jesus, I didn't want anyone reading anything I'd written. Then, I thought I'd give it a go but I hated that ridiculous, chipper, narrative voice and my desperate desire not to offend anyone or express an opinion. Anyway, I stopped writing it as I thought I was spending time blogging rather than doing and of course I was annoyed that no-one was reading it. I've also realised that I never read anyone else's blog, I just look at the pictures. So perfect, I don't want anyone to read it and no one is going to. Result. Plus, I can't always be bothered to load up photos. However, I would like to keep a record of whats going on. I've been meaning to keep up with it ever since Patrick was born but life is slipping away from me in a most alarming way.
There will also probably be quite a lot of self pity. Bear with me here. This is stuff I cannot express in my day to day life. I don't want to heap my grief on people for them to deal with. Especially my children...but I am sad, every day and have no way to deal with it.
the idea of keeping a blog where anyone could read it seriously freaked me out. I mean, Jesus, I didn't want anyone reading anything I'd written. Then, I thought I'd give it a go but I hated that ridiculous, chipper, narrative voice and my desperate desire not to offend anyone or express an opinion. Anyway, I stopped writing it as I thought I was spending time blogging rather than doing and of course I was annoyed that no-one was reading it. I've also realised that I never read anyone else's blog, I just look at the pictures. So perfect, I don't want anyone to read it and no one is going to. Result. Plus, I can't always be bothered to load up photos. However, I would like to keep a record of whats going on. I've been meaning to keep up with it ever since Patrick was born but life is slipping away from me in a most alarming way.
There will also probably be quite a lot of self pity. Bear with me here. This is stuff I cannot express in my day to day life. I don't want to heap my grief on people for them to deal with. Especially my children...but I am sad, every day and have no way to deal with it.
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